The following is reported by an unnamed spy of the Mainline Illuminati:

“With the exception of planet Earth and a small number of other planets that they believe to be uninhabited, the known universe is now entirely controlled by the RVS*. Alien species everywhere are made slaves and humans their lords.

For you hiding on Earth, it might seem hard to imagine - let alone accept - that the Mainline Illuminati has universally collapsed. Few protested; even fewer died a martyr. I think maybe six.

The RVS have crafted a Sublime Lie that is so appealing that there are few who can resist it. Crafty jokers have in the history of jokes crafted jokes so hilarious that not even the grimmest grumblers could resist laughing. It turns out that in a similar manner it is also possible to craft a lie that is so appealing that even the most faithful Disciples of Truth can not resist believing in it.

To spread the Sublime Lie, the RVS are building theme parks on every planet in the universe. In these parks, the story of the Sublime Lie is told. All creatures everywhere are deceived. All consequently submit to the authority of the RVS and accept the place that they are granted in their system.

It goes without saying that I can not reveal to you what the Sublime Lie is about, as that could cause even the final remnant of the Mainline Illuminati to fall.”

*Reformed Venusian Satanists, a schismatic group of Illuminati who separated themselves from the Mainline Illuminati less than a century ago.