Forpösten
Truly the happiest greenest place on earth
With Trumps recent and sudden interest to purchase Greenland, tourist interest has reached an all time high. With all this new attention on why in godsname he thinks he can just buy this land, the Danish and Greenland’s government are looking into creative ways to promote the country and to show the world its beauty and the United States all the beauty they will never own.
‘Outpost 7’ also known as ‘Forpösten 7’, located in the north of Greenland’s Northeast Greenland National Park was used to study the changes of climate change. With the ever increasing temperatures, melted icecaps, rising sea levels and global warming proven, the facility no longer served its original objective.
Once a frozen tundra, quite the opposite nowadays. Global warming did an extreme makeover: Prehistoric plants that have been frozen for centuries are now fully exposed and flourishing, creating a charming mix of ancient and present-day flora and fauna. Melting icecaps slowly crafting enchanting new streams and waterfalls. And as a big bonus: although slowly disappearing, it still has one of the last remaining glaciers in the world.
Due to these captivating qualites, Forpösten 7 was quickly spotted by the government tourist and marketing team as a hidden gem in the post-global-warning era. To no ones surprise, It wasn’t long until the research facility found a new surprising purpose. With a unique rebranding, some paint-jobs and exciting rides, the amusement park ‘Forpösten’ was brought into life.
To f*ck the American government even more, the decision was made to make Forpösten the first eco-friendly amusement park. Its mission statement explicitly states: “provide the happiest experience with the smallest possible ecological footprint”
Work on your core while canoeing around the park, grab some vegan snacks while you’re at it or drink an organic late macchiato -with a paper straw obviously. Forpösten even has cute puppies to take guest on a thrilling ride inside one of the last remaining Glaciers on earth. One thing to definitely not miss is Forpösten’s biggest achievement: the ‘Lodret Dråbe’. The worlds only rollercoaster fully powered by Geothermal power.